A good memory helps partners less to quarrel

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2019-11-09 16:20:06

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A good memory helps partners less to quarrel

Quarrels in family life — commonplace.

What do you think, how often do couples argue? According to a survey conducted by the Institute for social research, University of Michigan, more than 90% of couples argue with each other and quarrel at least once a month. The General themes of marital discord is money, sex, and spent together. None of this will surprise anyone who's been in a long term relationship. However, the results of a new conducted by researchers from the University of North Carolina showed that the study of cognitive abilities — higher functions of the human brain, may help to explain why some couples are better able to cope with the differences.

Train your memory

The study's Lead author Levi Baker and his colleagues told the publication that the couple, who have a high working , it is better to remember the statements of each other when discussing problems. In turn, these couples showed more progress in solving their problems over time. The study found that couples allows you to overcome the difficulties cognitive factor that directly affects the quality of communication partners with each other. In other words, the more new information you learn and remember, the stronger will be your relationship with your spouse.

a Lot of fighting? You should train your memory!

The Sample included 101 a couple who have been married less than three months. Working individually, the couple first tested on the ability to focus for a short period of time, e.g., following what someone says during a conversation. Then the pair jointly participated in the discussion of problems. After discussion, the couple went to separate rooms and wrote wishes to each other. Finally, after four and eight months the couples via e-mail were sent questionnaires in which researchers asked them to re-evaluate the seriousness of the problems. Those couples, the memory of which has been high, better cope with the problems in the further observations. In addition, spouses with a high working memory was most accurate in describing the wishes of each other after discussing the issues.

Give each other more time

The Researchers noted that others , such as the ability to reason can also play a role in resolving disputes in marriage. The results of the research show that one of the ways for partners to get rid of conflict in marriage is just to pay more attention to each other when discussing problems. You probably had to meet a man whose name you couldn't remember a few seconds later. Actually you forgot the name of that person — you just never recalled. In other words — you have not paid enough attention to transfer the name of the stranger in his long-term memory. Similarly, if you do not take into account what your partner says when discussing problems, don't you remember what was discussed. Therefore, researchers are advised to listen carefully to your partner and discuss relationship issues when you are rested, sober and there is nothing to divert.

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